ben's Journal
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Sunday, November 5, 2006
9:10PM
When you say love is a simple chemical reaction
Can't say I agree
Cuz my chemical, yeah, left me a beautiful disaster
Still love's all I see
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
well sadly,i am closing down(well not closing down la) but discontiuing my journal....i am gonna move to greener pasture hoping to grow fatter...hahaha...but anyways i am moving to blogspot...thanks to all the supporters and for livejournal as i ahve used this for more than 2 years...so many memories(Rite) and so lil tym..hahah...anyways my new page is
www.addaboy12345.blogspot.com
plz do some and visit there k?tk care all and god bless
Saturday, January 3, 2004
10:17PM
well 2003 passed by so fast....it jes went by.... jes like tat ***hands goin while above my head*** but anyways happy new year to u all,its 3 days late but i guess its still ok?lol ...since all it doin this resolution thing and also remenising of the past,which like everyone wants to wish for world peace,study harder and shit,but never really happens anhyways...but well..
1)i wanna study harder(well its easy to say + hard to do)...i have not done well for my curtin foundation,i failed my maths and i will aim to get a distinction for my maths...its my only class and well..i wanna study hard la...i dun wanna dissapoint my parents again coz after 3 years(failed form 4,fucked up form 5 and now this?)well i still have UQ to go and i takut i fuck up there agian....dun wanna tat to happen coz my dad is not giving me too much opportunities....coz i have failed the past few yrs....but anyways God give me the strength to study hard and remember eveyrhting...
2)get rich!!! hahahah... so many things i want to get...so little cash...want tat to happen but well...hahha....dun realli see tat happening for nw..but who knows?Benjamin Gates?
3)drive better....to date,i have blown an engine....skidded and spoilt the car...so well 2 cars in 2 days,...nearly gotten to sooo many collisions they wonder how i get my licence....i am more careful nw and i wanna be a hell of a drive, F1 style..tat kinda shit...hahhaha....
4)love and care for my darling more and more....its amazing how me and her has come by this far...will talk more bout it later in the post...
i doubt i have any much more resolutions...well i prolly do have more but i cant think of it...
my year in review?2003.....has been another hellofayear...turned 17...i got accepted to curtin...had a great semester..met new frens and all..its all so exciting but i hated my 2nd semester...some ppl started bein bitches and had turned my whole semseter around...flunk my maths and i have to redo my maths unit again this year...i shud be fucking goin to degree nw!!but anyways...i hate this but wat to do?
as for me love life...me and chelle....i dont know how to start...we have so many sweet sweet memories...and also we do have our darkest hours...we nearly broken up so many tyms but i stayed on....we stayed on each other...coz we do love each other....i really love her and i really trust her in almost eveyrhtin...i know she will be there for me and i will be there for her too..we are like 1 body...if she gets injured...we both hurt and all....and when 1 is happy...all is...we have recently jes gotten past 2 yrs...and i am happy tat we reached this milestone coz i never tot we can do this....we both predicted (well chelle did) we will break up in the mid of the year coz we were having lots of arguments....but anwyays here we are...heading twds 3 yrs i hope? we are nw having small spats here and there(not a good way to start 2004) but its ok...we love each other more and more and u know...lookin at her..it jes makes me smile coz she is too dear to me...here is to another 2 more yrs darling...or more!
many of our frens has left us...it was Nelson's mom....she passed away exactly 1 yr ago today due to an accident....ahmad daniel too...unfortunately lost his life to Hodgeskin's disease,which is a cancer which is easily curable but well...i guess it was tym to go...and Jon's dad,which took us by a real suprise....he had a heartattack....for this 3 souls...i am sure they are veyr happy in where they are now and God is blessing them and their families dearly...i do wish them well....
in terms of sucess...i dun think i have suceeded much this year tho...i wish i suceed more...like everyone else...but anywyas i do hope my days are soon to come...i have dissapointed alot of ppl this year..mainly my parents...in my actions and my results...some of my frens...michelle also....i wanna apologise to all tat i have hurt and pissed them off....i do hope this year will be a good one for me and my family,my loved ones and everyone...
well the ending of 2003,where SARS has swept the most parts of the world...mainly china,toronto, singapore and some parts of the world...god bless to those who lost their lives to the sickness...2003,where USA led the war against Iraq on teh suspision of WMD....and found nothing...and captured Saddam...2003,where we lost a few dear frens unfortunately...2003,where things were pretty bad for lots of ppl...for most businessmens coz of the weakened economy....2003 for many happy memories or bad tyms...lets hope tat 2004 will be a better year la...less of all those and keep the good tyms rolling!!!haha..cheers....
Current mood:  thoughtful
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
3:03PM
i try not to make all my posts sound depressing but then again i feel tat my life is...coz all the tym i get msgs from everyone telling me to cheer up..and btw,thx to all who have messaged me..its very sweet of u guys...but seriously.life has took a toll on me once again....these 2 examples are enough already to suffocate me...
i had 2 car problems,2 days from each other,the first was when i was drivin teh rover and i dunno how the hell but i blew the engine....oh great oh me...then yesterday i had an accident at the jln maulana/jln panglima junction,teh road was slippery and i skidded and went to the side of teh road,went tru some very very big rocks and i feared tat for a bit coz i tot iwas gonna go into a big drain(i know there is one ahead)i quickly turned to teh right and i went to the other side of the road...my heart was beatign so hard...i actually feared first when teh car skidded,tat the car may turn over...and tat wud be worst...i din know y but i drove to chelle hoseu,i din dare to go back...coz i tot teh car was still ok...i was supposed to go over her house anwyays to look at car parts..so hell,2 cars in 2 days...fc uk!ng sh!t....i am jes having a very very bad days....i had to call my dad and at first he seem calm,prolly coz his frens were tehre...towed the car home and then at home i got (not a scolding) but jes talked to me,but it feels like he is cakaping me...he doesnt put the blame on me,yet he does..tat kinda feeling...he told me to think of life and wat i wanted to do...told me to forget bout the car incidents but yet again i feel tat he is pointing the finger at me...my bro too...its jes a real hard tym...and plus coz of the stupid rain,i am ahving runny nose and i oso have a sore throat....idiot sh!t rain..if no rain i wudnt have skidded anyways...stupid stupid ass...
i woke up ten nx morning(today)...had to go to work eventho i didnt want to...but had to do it anwyays...took a shower and went to change...when i got down my dad was there suda...i said good morning to him but he di nsay anyting back...jes eating my breakfast,i didnt say anything,nor did i dare to look up at hm or any my mom....i jes quickly finished my breafkast and i went to teh living room...jes sat at teh couch which is facing outsie,not my dad...i just didnt dare to
morning sucked...it was ok till my dad got in the office,i feel tat my stress level grew up by a few notches...he took me home and told me bout how he was too lenient on me,during the form 4,5 and curtin tym...said tat i failed my form 4,he had to be embarased to let me get into st johns....then after form 5 with crappy results,i had to go to curtin and yet i screwed tat up....and he has no confidence and he has no trust in me...i doubt tat anyone in the family has....and hell,i feel like i am not fitted to be in teh family....i am jes feeling like the black sheep...the fuc king black sheep...the useless one who can never obtain good marks for exams...who has to smash up 2 cars...had to jes dissapoint my parents in all i do..i try not to be too down anyways but i am...i cant help it after all these things happen...and awt my dad put on me...i feel liek a failure,jes a dumb ol' jock(i have heard this phrase somewhere)
but anyways hey,these are my hard tyms...but well...i will be gettign my paycheck tom...i was planning already to get a few things,like a webcam from alan...a new phone(SE Z600) coz my old one has issues,some new clothes for chinese new years...but then again now prolly gonna put all my earnings to fix up the merz(despite my dad sayin tat it is a old piece of crap,i am gonna try fix it up anwyays,needs a few Ks in it but hell,gonna try restore it)
man..this sore throat is killing me,but I AM NOT SICK!I DO NOT GET SICK EASILY...hahaha...i wanna say tat my baby has been here for me to talk to me and all when my family has been there to shout at me...i love chelly to bits...i know i will be tehre for her if she needs me..but anwyays...i love her so much....cant find an understanding loving girlfren anywhere now..and i found one 2 years ago..i love you michelle wong...
but anyways this is my 'phase' for now...some sh it phase hey?man i am tired...wanan sleep...but anyways shud be posting tom at work or something la...
god plz take care of me...
Current mood:  at myself Current music: sarah mclachlan-ice cream
Sunday, December 14, 2003
11:50PM
i find tat in life,as usual,things dont work out for the best at times...coz after reading this article on regret and i feel tat is a good article..and it makes me think....coz in my life i have done alot of bad stuff...constantly i feel tat bad luck has dawn upon me u know..and i hate all my misfortunes...my studiesn arent always very well and at the end of the year its always very shits wan...its always heartbreak for me...jes stuff la...and how i acted and all...i look back and i am glad i am not tat kinda person nw...so in short i can feel tat all these bad things are blessing in discuise...maybe not all but maybe tts good la..and i am actually luckier than other ppl...
anyways my results arent very good,i so called 'failed' foundation coz i didnt pass a unit,maths 062...veyr veyr dissapointed in tat la...but i got all credits for everyt other unit..but well...i am tryin to find all other alternatives to see wat else i cna do...like goin to oz and all...but now it feels like i am destined for Curtin..and i hate it...but wlel wat can i do ya?
also,i dont get to go sg,and tts wat i have been lookin fwd since the begining of year suda...i was alreayd creating a list on my head on wat to buy,so many clothes i want to get,a few pair of shoes, presents for my parents and friends,something nice for sayang,jes basicly enjoying myself and all the goodies i will get and i always love the feelin of coming back from sg....but anways i doubt i will be goin..my dad said he will think bout it...coz times are hard and all,and oh well....its really frustrating la...so anyways i will end this topic here hey...have to think possitive..lol...
but on the the better side of thigns...me and chelle has recently celebrated our 2 yrs annv,2 days ago to be exact...but anyways....we are great..things have been great...we are really hpy wid each other...so tt is jes nice la...i love her alot...she means so much to me man...
anyways i end this update la...i shud update more...*blushes* but hahha....
Saturday, November 22, 2003
8:53PM
the best thing tat could happen in a club is where you jes dance and you start getting close with another girl and then things hit off and you leave togehter...
unfortunately...tat din happen to me...
hahhaa...couldnt care less la....went clubbing with my frnes...went to balcony and coyoty ugly...i wished tat chelle cud be there tho...it wud be fun...
but anyways stayed up till bout 6 like tat coz effy wanted to go there for fun..i was dead tired suda...but anyways....
i feel pretty frustrated la....i dunno y...everyone is annoying me...everyone is on my nerves...i am currently having a very bad day...bout driving...nearly had a few collisions today...i shud be more careful la...but i dun want ppl to pressurise me and shit like tat...i hate tat...u know when i drive i know wta i am doin...i know i am jes beginning to drive only and everyone,EVERYONE will make mistakes..some fatal,some not,some jes damn meer lucky...but helll...i am driving so shut up...tts wat i can say...a few times i nearly got into an bumps today...i was thinkin...i dotn care u know...i find life sometimes so pointless and continuing it seems like a real bitch....i always have tried to be a nice person to everyone and i jes get kicked around la...and i find tat shit la...i just seriously dont care...
this is pretty fuckt up today la,well for this post la...but anyways i do hope for many more happy days aside frm this
Sunday, November 16, 2003
12:54AM
its been quite a while since i last posted...sometimes i cant really be bothered to post anymore...i dun have much to say anywyas and i have not such an intersting life..hahah..but anyways if you must..hahaha
i have been wathcin quite a number of movies la..and i am lucky to have watched some of the best movies i think i hav ever seen tho..i jes watched American History X,is about racism,against black people and jews and stuff..u shud have a watch...also a beautiful mind....bout john nash,who has this disease and got a noble prize....also a beautiful mind...i found it to be really nice but lots of ppl tot it was boring and a dull...well i loved it...i also watched my sassy girl..a real good story..wathced the matrix trilogy...revolution was ok....typical endin tho....
i am currently on my exam period nw..i jes had my accounts and critical..jes hope i can do well la...other than tat..the semester is ending...and i got my licence...and wt a way to celebrate it..kevin is coming back,tat means he wud be a bitch and hog everything..from the phone to teh car to pretty much everything...man i gotta earn some respect off him...he shud be looking up to me sometimes..hes jes too proud sometimes...dunno wats up wid him...ahh...wat fun and joy...i am waiting for him wid open arms already!!rite...
its not tat i wanna choose to be like this to him...he is jes sometimes doin all these to me i cant stand it la...i guess taht is wat u get for bein 2nd in teh fam?but anyways
this song is great...sorta true..you get what you give....such a classic...
i am getting tired..ishud make a point of posting more...
so anyways till the nx tym..
Current music: new radicals-you get what you give
Monday, November 3, 2003
1:20AM
i kinda find it sad on my part tat i lead a sad life...bein bullied by lots of ppl...and me...i cant do anything bout it..pretty much powerless..i guess tts wat bein 2nd in teh family does to u..its a real confidence-dropper in tat case...i am feelin pretty down nw la...i just wish i cud talk to someone u know?but well...u cant expect life to be so much beautiful rite?be bored..do stuff..die..tts pretty much wat u go tru anyways...
neways well..i just wish i cud just feel so much bette everyday...and i dun have to be depressed..i worry bout me and chelle coz we arent doing so well now...i jus want things to better btween us....its quite frustrating sometimes but i juts wanna keep on going..there are lots of thigns to be solved out..i mean ALOT of things....god please help me get tru all these....
i dun have much to say anymore la..nyts
Sunday, November 2, 2003
1:31PM
kristin asked me to do it
hahaha
find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com
332,476 people have gotten cavities from this quiz.
And 20,413 got the result "Chocolate Pie" like you.
Pie is goooood!
hmm..eat me!
Saturday, October 25, 2003
12:54AM
u know i hate being myself...as so called childish and all....i think i really should keep my mouth shut and just continue bein bullied and get pushed around by eveyrone i know..i think that is the best la...i am sure everyone enjoys doin that to me....i am just me rite?
i dont know anymore....sometimes i just wish i never had so much problems...i dont have to think of all these shit up....i dont have to think of a solution..i dont have to worry...after all..there is just so much i can do...i feel like i alreayd failed in life and i sitll have to drag along life till i die....well how long would that be rite?
what is the meaning of life? i dun think anyone knows la...i certainly feel tat there is not much meaning in life...
ah fuck it la..
Friday, October 24, 2003
6:28PM
24th oct 03, 1135am
oh great joy...today is sweet sweet friday...pretty much have been waiting since last monday for this... i just cant wait to go back and all...its just not that i wanna be wif chelle...i just want to be at home...miri aint as much fun as it used to be and i find it pointless to stay here too long anyways...i just love home...and i cant believe that i am saying this u know? last wednesday my parents came to miri to buy new sofa( yes new ones!) and when they brought me home from campus, and when they passed me the food and they wanting to leave..it feels sad la....its sad coz they are leaving...i actually tot we cud have dinner so it wont be...u know...my rents just remind me of home and all...ah well...baby me i guess...haha
neways i just got back from my driving lesson..i think i will have 1 more driving class on monday and i can sit for the test... i did some driving...then i did my 3 pt turn...the easiest of all...and i did some slope thing..u have to go on the slope..and stop..then go on again..its a tuffie but i think i'm ok...i think?heh...neways my instructor dropped me at the busstop near my house and i decided to go over to j's house...and then when i entered his cousin was there...watchin tv so i just said hi and just sat there....and there was pretty much silence..i wanted to muster up some courage to just talk to him...ask him if he had any problems wif me or so....and i just watned to know la...like have anythin against me or wat did i say or do tat pissed u off...but when i was bout to he went off to his room..changed...took his stuff...switched off the tv...and eveything la...and he said.. i'm off to campus...and i was like..oh..so j's still here rite?he replied saying...yea...but he is sleeping....so i just left la....i never bothered to ask him to drop me home coz he probably finds me annoying...or something la...and just walked home...i was wondering walking back..wat have i done u know..i never treat my frens bad..or do anything...they ARE my frens...i wont do any bad sh!t to them...but well...they prolly have something against me...coz i got news that most of them got something against me or somethin...and i was thinkin again..hmmm...what have i done that is so wrong...i would have a talk wif J soon but then not now la..he wants to speak in private and i nver got the chance to ask...
well it is good that j told me bout it la...i never got the chance to talk tho but soon la..when there is time...prolly nx week or so....but well for nw...i just dont wanna worry...and pretty muhc keep quiet...not to say a thing...anyways each time i say something they wud jes stare at me and continue talking bout their stuff...sorta outkasted...well i pray every nyt that this will end soon...i do hope so...
Saturday, October 18, 2003
8:15PM
16.10.03 1.11pm
Despite research saying that alcohol, yes alcohol is good for the health, alcohol is still no good Drinking a pint of beer a day can actually prevent certain kind of cancer and heart diseases and also cholesterol problems. But last week wasn't a healthy drink for me.I went over to Ivan Toh's bday party .he celebrated his 18th bday I din even know I was supposed to go but then chelle asked me to go so I went la started out drinkin only beer and it was fine then I had red wine and wen chelle left I started taking Vodka.it was mixed and shud be fine but never, never go down it if u cant take it..i cant and after 2. The first with some dude called Michael or mike or something then later wif Ivan he put lots of vodka in it and beer too.after tat straight away cannot suda la went home and I had lots of trouble doin things.i took a shower twice I remember..once wen I come back and 5 mins later when I puked.i dunno y I showered the 2nd tym coz I was clean, but only wet when I was trying to clean up myself after puking I din get to call chelle coz I was really drunk.I remember she calling a few times but I cant even talk much..and she hung up on me oh well the moral of the story? Benji don't drink too much!! Hahah
As u know..i din get to post last weekend coz I was busy la..pretty much din get time to post I did go swim wif chelle and Cynthia on sat it was fun and on Sunday it was me and chelle's 22 mth annv..closer and closer to the big one heheh
Its Thursday and normally during Thursday I get excited coz I am gonna go home tom but then again I am gonna stay here till bout sat like tat coz on sat I have a driving lecture thing to go to and to most of u tat know..i already passed my theory driving.yay for me..hahah I took my first driving lesson today and pretty much just went of to a nearby area,drove around la my tutor thinks I know how to drive so he let me drive till 4th gear..coz normally u are no supposed to go past 4th gear unless u know wat u are doin..and I do..i hope to get it by this 3 weeks
On a lighter note jes nw after class,after my driving lesson I took my frens car out wif a few of my other frens to go eat and while I was doin some S curve thing, one car behind was driving closeby and I nearly hit her.. luckily it was only another of my fren hahhaha well no more S curves for me..lol
I might be getting a Toyota Vios as my first car..unless the Mitsubishi Airtrack is reasonable..but prolly a vios only la..well better than none..lol I cant wait la!!!!Lol..and at the back of my bumper, I gonna put this sticker tat says "I should have gotten a Supra" hahaha.. cool ah?lol.. but anywyas I am gonna tint my car too so coolnesssss.!!!! Hahaha am actually quite excited over the car..hahah
Oh well I haven't really have been getting any good weeks here in miri ever since the holiday ended some of my frens have been treating me not as good and u know..it feels shitt y la I never expected they to be like this..i pray to god every nyt to make things better u know? It is getting better but it still feels tat I am not belong to that group of frens..will see wat happens la but hopefully all turns out good coz I hate the way I feel most of the tym u know?
I better just run will post this up wen I get back
Sunday, October 5, 2003
9:32PM
maybe i shud make a short post b4 i go back to miri...neways....nothing much really happened this week....ITF is in town so i went to have a look lo...not much cuties tho but there is this one from taipei (sorry hun..heheh)..but anyways pretty much jes watch tennis la..i never had a huge interest in tennis anywyas..just prolly intested for a while then after a while just get sick of it..pretty much every match like tat..give me a good 15 20 mins i enough already...
things btween chelle got better la on wed...so which is great...still have to clear some doubts and issues over wif chelle...but all is rosy and great nw...
hmm...wat else ah....on wed also went to jon's dad funeral service....kinda sad...well to see someone loosing his dad....i hope he can cope with tat...i also wonder how his mom is doin..and how the sister is doin. its good to see jon and his family put on a straight face..sorta like a brave face....i tot,u know they would be miserable and all..but i wudnt know...i do hope they are doin well and God will bless them..
anyways,i guess nothing much did happen this week..just pretty much laze around and be a bum...i;m the best in tat...i deserve to win a crown in tat.... picture this.... bum of the year!!!hahahah....
M
OO
notice the bum?and the crown...tats just plain fun...kinda stupid..haha..sorry...
neways i guess this will be all...i have nothin gmuch intersting so wen i do have some i will be sure to post it..hahah....
till nx week...
Tuesday, September 30, 2003
12:38PM
Music does indeed sooth the soul...i recently found my old jars of clay music from my old computer and man...i miss all their old tracks....i think they are one of the best bands i have ever come across...i found out bout them the last tym i was over at gary/galen/gavin's house. i saw the cover at gavins room and i asked how their music was and he played it for me...and damne...they sound so good.... 'like a child','liquid','art in me', pretty much their first album, and some of their newer ones are great....i am waiting for their album..just ordered it from ebay, shell helped me..thx bud...cost me bout 40 like tat plus shipping...great huh?cant wait...
another band.. goo goo dolls are simply mag!!hahaha..their acoustic hits are so nice to listen to...along wid their others...
lots of music now i listen to are random hits..all from tv and all...nickelback is wat i am recently listening to most...
its great tat music was found....i think wid no music nw..i will sink to just depression or something...blasting music nowadays works for me and make me at least sane...hahha....
Monday, September 29, 2003
3:27PM
havet been posting much...so much has changed since the last tym i posted...well...
i can feel tat i am halfway loosing my best fren nw...i dont know how things will be now u know?i just have this gut feeling tat things will just end here....in 2 weeks time....things will be gone..i just only have a ray of light,just this little hope...hope things will be ok...i feel so sick nw...i hate wat i have now....this is shittey
lookin back,all the things i have done,some was great tat i did,some i know i shudnt have done...and i only can relfect and think of these stupid things...after 17 years perhaps tat i havent change my ways...i am still as childish as a kid and maybe i am...maybe i am not,i dont know...maybe tat is my weakness,maybe i give in too much...maybe i am just not a great guy..i dont know...things has changed...i dont even know who i am anymore....i think i am just typing down crap ATM.....stupid...and also...all those good times...i remember everything vividly,so clear and so wondeful..and my worst fear has set apond me,will these things...end?
since ahmad daniel passed away,thinking tat these kinda things never will happen again,but it did,on saturday evening,jonathan the'ng's dad passed away,due to massive heart attack...it is such a blow to of coz jon's family,and to us too...i nevr expect these kinda things to happen agian...it feels like how it was when nelson lost his mom...i dont know jon's dad well nor have i seen him around,but then again u know..its really sad...i hope tat he is in a so much better place now...a painless place where things are just beautiful and such...and i do hope tat jons family will fight things and will be ok again..all my prayers goes out to him and his family...
on a lighter note,its sengs and li che's bday today so happy 17 bday to thoese 2...grown up to be like my buddies nw..and its great...yea...
things are just bad for me....and its a real shi t hole now for me...
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
12:05AM
I am gonna have a fucking econs test tom......and i think i was doin well studyin for it and then an incident had to happen and i suddenly feel to frustrated to study...i cant concentrate on anything..i say fuck it..i think i am gonna fail....stupid fuck.....thx ya?
its very frustrating sometimes wen u get into all this and never get to get it done and over wid...how fun ya?having to have this burden over my head....i can just certainly punch or break anything in site.....but i am tryin to control my actions and anger...i am doin tat very well.....every part of my body now...only very sore a few hours from gym...is suddenly very active and ready to kill anything....
this is stupid....sitting in front of my pc..typing all this shit out for wat?i also dunno...no where to relieve our my anger and stress....this always has to happen ah to me?so nice man...sometimes something never change as u expected....some things are just the same....
Monday, September 1, 2003
1:09AM
hey all...gotten back from a hectic week...as usual...the schoolwork are starting to kick in..and its not tat bad yet...i only have to pass up one accademic essay....was supposed to hand in IT work too but it was posponed till nx week...whew...and i had critical thinking journal also had to hand up...i did tat in a day..hahah...anyways other than tatthe week was just a another normal school week..but all i can say is tat i had a great weekend..
but first i gotta congratualte my sis on getting confirmed...hope this will be a stepping stone to her maturity...also happy bday to my lil bro steven..who turned 8...naughty as ever but still the steven tat he is..hahaha..and alan chong..who shares the same bday wif malaysia..dunno how old he turns..but anyways happy bday to u mayte..
anyways i got back from miri on friday....had a run in wif chelle..miscomunication and communiation breakdown..haah...anyways was settled quick...went to soon lee to buy stuff for stevens party...the nx day, sat, chelle woke me up early and she decided to go for bfast...i wasnt feeling particully well for some reasons unknown...went around town shopping for chelle's stationary(bein chelle..she shops for stationary for every chance possible...test pads...files...pens....the works..haha)i went to CHMS wif chelle to pick up steven..aaaaaa...CHMS..my old school..so many momories..hahaha....never liked it..never hated it too...lol...kinda miss the older days...and now me in curtin..wierd huh?i always tot i will graduate a CHMS student and in teh end me ended up as a st john's graduatee(sp?)no offence to st johns tho..i had a mighty fine tym there too..more activities than CHMS..hahaha....anywyays it was fun la...all these flashback and memories...
i had to teman chelle to her house by bus....and later i went home at bout 3...home to running kids and screaming girls...and not forgetting the boys who act macho but then again when they are hit a lil..they start to cry....found out tat one of stevens fren got a cell phone..and i was like shit....the parents seriously spoil tat brat...and its no nokia 3310(my damn first phone)...but instead of a 600+ phone...colour screen and all...accordinf to my mom...the kid is very very naugthy and like very demanding(thus the phone in his hands)...kids nowadays...
life in the older days seem to be so much simple...we played wid tranformers...watch GI Joes...teenage mutant ninja turtles.....receiving books and shirts for christmas presents...and now?they have their cell phone...some high tech gadget to amuse themselves..wat happen to the good ol times?hahah..times change i guesss....
anyways i left for miri at bout 4+ for kristin and rudy's farewell dinner thing...we(cynthia,seng,darling and me,afiq cud not make it) used the NEW Malaysian Made Baram bridge..so cool..so high the damn bridge...hahah....stoped down to look at it for a while...quite magnificent..lol...we stoped by cyntia's grandparents apartment..was supposed to stay there...anyways we went to sugarbun to eat dinner...and stipped by miri cafe to eat again..haah...met kristin's parents..veyr friendly..the dad dun really talk much but hes nice...also met kristin's frens....cant remember their names..only dilan...coz we kept teasing cynthia bout him...and also kristin's sister sonia...really nice frenly girl...after dinner we went driving around...stopped by kristins house....hang out tehre for a hwile..kristins frens are wierd..they kept stareing at me.....and the rest too..seng and cyn got it..so wierd..makes me very uncomfortable...but anyways...kristin have a nice house...very nice cars...yum..hahaha...anyways was thre for an hour plus b4 heading out to have a drink in seahorse..somewhere near M2.....they served up a giant cup of ice lemon tea and it cost 3 only..so cheapp...nice again!hahah..bout 11+ went to esplanate...sat tehre for awhile to wait for the damn fireworks....was so far away cant see much..but anways went wif the girls to regal to pee...after tat went around town for a while b4 deciding to head home...her mom offered to crash at her place..so we took our stuff from cyn's granparents place...anyways it was fun...rudy had some problems and anyways..was settled...was talking to the girls....for a while b4 heading to rudy's room...chelle and cyn was there...chelle fell asleep...was talking to seng for a while...realised lots of things la...he never trusted me but now he is talking to me bout stuff..which is cool..coz we never really talked bout much u know..and i value him as a best fren sorta thing..we talked bout our frens and how i parted from them and trying to find them back again and stuf.f..we din exactly talk..we sorta typed everything down on the phone so tat not to make noise....i have to add this in...chelle looks so lovely and peaceful wne she is sleeping...like a baby...my baby..neways bout 3 like tat they went to their room....me and seng went downstairs to talk..then rudy came...we wanted to cook then teh girls came odwn...we had an early early bfast...mee....and we talked a while then i teman chelle to sleep...hugged her to sleep..it felt so nice....then after tat went to talk again wif seng and play game...till bout 6+ when we went in and talked wif rudy and cyn for while..who were still awake...
i was dead tired...and seng too...so we decided not go mass....the rest went..just slept there...sonias bed so comfy..must sleep over again..hahah...i woke up at 1030 and got ready to go out..went bfast wif her parents and the rest....after tat went home for a while and went out..parkson..i went ot cut my hair while the girls went shopping....saw rachel and kristine there...my classmates from curtin....nice girls..heeh.....after tat went home la..cyntia's parents waiting there suda....so went home la..
it was a fun trip la...there are 3 major things bout this trip tat made it great....firstly,hanging out wif kristin and her familythey are easy to mix wif and all...very inviting..and just to think tat i just knew them for a while only...knew kristin tru the phone....she said the first thing to me...after the converstaionm..is tat i veyr cheeky..hahah...coz i called chelle adn they passed around the phone....so yea...met her only at their graduation i think...no..i met her wen i met up wif her in miri....wid rudy...they are so nice and easy to talk to..sonia too...just met her yesterday and we are talking normally alreayd..i never even knew her name..hahah..quite cool...also the fact tat baby was over there is great...it was great...i got to hold her hand and stuff..something we cant do in kb...it feels great wen we do these thigns...feels like we are closer and 'lovy-dovy'....i just love the feeling....and u know..i cant belive i amd wif chelle somtimes u know?i feel sometimes dun deserve her...yet i do....i love her so much...its been 20 months already..and i am aiming to keep it longer and longer....i know we will...i am really happywif things now...we hae our flaws and i know i have lots....but brushign aside tat...we love each other and tts imporatnat rite?tat was thte 2nd thing..3rdly...me and seng got to talk lots..i found lots of stuff la..how i act and all..how iwas a dick in teh psat...i still am but a milder dick..hahah...how sometimes the words i choose to say effects alot of ppl.....and i find myself stupid for saying tat...tru these things ah...eventho they are bad and damn malu ah....i learn from these and it all contribues to making me a better person..the better person tat ai can....i seriously love tat guy...veyr patient guy......
neways...i guess this was my weekend.....had been a great one...great combination... frens wif chelle..wif fun...all in 1 weekend.....hopefully kristin and rudy come back soon...we can do this again....
honey....u are simply the best baby!!!!i had a great weekend wif u....and more of these will come....i love u and this weekend...served up lots of things....i sorta even learnt some stuff from teh weekend....felt tat we became closer tru these acts of love....bein togehter....i love u tons and i want u to realise tat....
Monday, August 18, 2003
6:16PM
Hey all…haven’t got the chance to post last nyt…it just slip my mind..i think I was too tired to anyways..hahah.. neways I just got onto campus..i wanted to type out the post on my lappie and I will ask chelle to post it up for me..but anyways…I got back from my maths lecture..din know wat shit they say..was dozing off so many tyms..shits man..haahh…neways I am proud of myself tho…I drove home from campus wif my frens car…manual..i stalled a few tyms…one when the bus came to the terminal..i panicked..haha..and one at the junction..i nearly hit a car…coz I tried to start the car and I didn’t see another car coming from the left..coz no one usually comes from the left as the other side is contruction stuff..ehehe…but none the less..i am proud of myself la..hahah..thanks to leong too coz he was the one who taught me how to drive the damn thing..jimie too..haah..he was sorta the pioneer in helping me drive..if there is such a thing..haahh…I will talk bout the driving part later…anyways I came home and cooked myself mee goring…(btw..today is mon ah..haha)and I cleaned up the house..coz wen I saw there are lots of dished to clean up..i go clean up and I went the floor..then I went to the toilet and take the mop..and I saw tat the toilet was dirty..so I cleaned the toilet and clean outside..haahh..and wen I got to rest…the car came..hahah
Anyways I will start from last mon..i came in the morn la…had my critical thinking lecture..my ear was still throbbing..and after classjust to find out tat the stud had gone in a lil…so I had to ask Adrian to remove for me..but it was to painful so I had to go to a clinic..there I was screaming like mad wen they tried to remove it…they had to put in anesthetic to make it numb..tat too..hurt a lot…wen the injection went in I mean..then after tat…I din go to class la..just basicly stayed at home la..hahaha…
I cant remember wat really happened in the following days..i guess it was normal days la…on Thursday I went out wif jimie,jai,adian,azim to meet jeramaia…he is a frens of chele..met him wen I went to the JIS ball…nice guy..went to eat at sugarbun and then lter went to watch SWAT..it was pretty good…u all shud watch it..haah…good movie..i felt bad coz I have to leave early..had to leave him thre..but I think he as fine as he wanted to shop..haha..but still..
Nothing much on Friday…went to class then b4 IT in the noon, I went ot the driving school to pay for my table test..and to my horror they say they din register me coz I din pay up earlier..so fuck man..i was really pissed off..but the guy later,actually today called me up and say tat the test will be on the 21th..this Thursday as planned..hahah..good l..hahah…I went back and went to see chelle…met her in church..later then went to makan wif the CHMS gang..hehe
I forgot to say..chelle came back on wed..was so happy wen she got back…got to talk to her only on Thursday..tat was the highlight of the day la..i remember arguing wif her tat nyt..i din know y..i was too tired and I din even know wat I said..hahah
Well on sat I had to go see chelle…I went out shopping wif her in the afternoon and went over…had a lil spat wif chelle..we were both pissed off at eachj other…but then at nyt..during the charity dinner st angeles had..we were ok suda..felt bad the whole way tho..lai’s dad was nice nuff to give us a table(me.darling,leong,lai,suan long,flora and his guy, and sarah,ravie)and we just had a nice dinner along wif funny funny entertainment..haha..father and some of the ppl were dancing and s tuff like tat…nice to see my old teacher from CHMS,I cant remember her name tho..very nice and friendly…hehehe…after tat we went around then leong taught us to drive..me chelle and ravie…chelle did better than I did during the frist try..but during my 2nd try I did very wlel I can say..so proud of myself..hahha…ravie did good also for his first try..nearly banged into stuff…hahaha
On Sunday it was normal la…I had the pleasure to spend tym wif darling..was really happy!!haven’t done tat in ages!!hahah…watched a movie called the pianist..was really very sad seein how the nazis treating the jews…hehe..bout how the germans treated the jews during the WW2…basiclly was happy to see darling la…
Thing were all right again..i am glad..hahah…like normal…anyways I gotta go..but anyways…someones bday is coming really soon(nx week)…anyways willpost more bout tat nx tym..hahah…
thx darling for the shirts…I really love u so much and I am damn happy tat ur back here already…I am sorry for wat happened during the weekend..i din mean for this to happen..but anyways all I can show u now is my love and all…and I hope u understand..have a great week k?mwahs!
Monday, August 11, 2003
12:03AM
wat an evening of football..first it was real and thailand..din really watch the game tho...i think it ended 2-1..then at tat same tym..it was premiership encore,where they replayed the big games tat shaped up the season..it was man utd and arsenel whereby man utd won arsenel 2 goals to nill..fabulous!!haha..then later at bout 10 it was man utd and arsenel for the charity shield..the score was 1-1 and man utd won by penalty 4-3...so yay..it was a pretty good game in my opinion...lots of action..arsenel was left to 10 men..whooo...hahha
anyways my ear is infected..so is jeramies...the place we did prolly not clean wan...so shits man..went to dr tan to get some medicine...leong took me..i asked him to..coz i had no choice coz it was pain..not those pains where it will go away..those throbbing pain which is annoying and gives u headaches...so fuck rite?haha..i intend to keep my stud...have to wait for it to simmer down and i will change to platinum or gold..something which is not reactive..went to mass in the morn and sat wif kevin..then went to bfast wif him... anyways in the noon,the weather so shit..was planning to go play golf..driving range..but weather permits..ended up just playing grand theft auto 3..pretty good game..hahaa.... tried to install GTA vice city but it didnt work..oh well...hehe..
i guess its another week of classes..hoipe there is not much work to do..haha..really hope la..so sien wanna do work...hahah....also waiting for my baby to come back..looks like she enjoying herself there...all teh shopping and all..singaore is on sale now..islandwide..lucky her...wish i cud go la..wen i go nx tym ah..no more sale..sucky..hah..
anyways i gotta run la..wanted to make a short post b4 i go miri..hehe
oh i chatted wif kirstine jes now..have fun wid colin!!hahah...bling bling!hehe
cheers all..nyts
miss u more and more
Sunday, August 10, 2003
1:42AM
hey all..i had a pretty very exciting week i might say...it goes back to last wed when i went to my family's reunion,where there are like,500 plus ppl packed into dynasty hotel punya restaurant and yea... met so many granduncles and uncles and grand grand uncles and stuff..there is one cousin of mine who is in charge of the legal issues for the Orange,the phone company in the UK.there are several phD ppl over there too..one has a doctorate in genetics from Oxford...wow..now tts prestigeious(def sp?)..but he is doin some shipping thing and is a director for some company,controls the whole asian pacific region for his company..now tts cool..who else?there was a few more lawyers...some of my younger cousins are studyin in curtin too..2 of them...one of them i think is amy.and the other i didnt catch her name..hope to meet them someday on campus..hehe...come to think of it..i do have lots and lots of cousins and just tat we never met only..and everyone is so sucessful..and i just want to be like them wen i grow up..bein sucessful..in terms of eveyrthing...job and all....bein married and have 2 kids...u know...its too early to say these stuff now but anyways..its good to think ahead..
the previous day..i met up wif jay,he came back to miri coz his granddad passed away...i guess tat he is in a better place now...somewhere great...anyways couldnt get hold of him and only he called tat day..we ewnt out after his dinner..met up at parkson and went to this place called cap-a-cino wid the gang...jimie was tired..sorry man..haha..we also took a piercing tgogether..i did mine on my earlobe..now its all bangkak..coz i accidentally slept on it last nyt or something..or i was too rough on it or something..damn painful man...have to put ice around it constantly..or else my ear gets bloated,hot and red.hahah...
on mon i had to stay over at jimie's place coz one of my frens were high on something and better make sure he is orites..haha..also chelle went to sg wid shell and her mom...
thursday ah.nothing much happened...was bz preparing a bbq tat teh sugakane klan wanted(we made up this nick.dun know how...we bought so much food man..hahha..we tot there will be 50 plus ppl coming but in teh end only half of them showed up..
the bbq was on friday..it was really fun...had 2 vodkas,JD's,shivas and tuak...neighbours gave to us..as i said earlier..there were too much food and so little of us..lots of ppl didnt show up..in the end had to bring ppl along..they decided to call in the nigerian guys from my class and we can sorta get to know each toehr well..one guy domenic was so drunk and high he started dancing and preaching shit..the other 2 were cool guys...haha...in the end we finished up all the drinks..not the food tho..will have it finished wen i go back to miri agian..cook up some stuff agian!hahah...i also had aircon fixed up so it is definately so much cooler..haha..everyone was lepak'ing in my room..hahha...jai was so pissed drunk..he has so much to drink man..and ended up puking so much..also chang...drank quite a bit and was drunk too..had a hard tym controlling him///one of adrina's classmayte michelle had a little to drink but got drunk fast..funny man..hahah...it was hard la..i was high on the drinks too and i had to help up so many ppl and it was like..shit man..hahah...after the party...the guys cleanred up a lil..and i took a shower..went over to jimie's to talk for a while b4 going home and sleep..in my air con room!haha..i had a very not nice sleep..i kept waking up...had lots of dreams..and also tat lots of ppl woke me up...first it was jai..then it was su lei,my fren and adrinas...sorta my ex classmayte..then adrina's phone which was in my room kept ringing..then at bout 6 like tat..i woke up and my ear hurts..twas all bangkak..and the pain kept me awake for a while...b4 dozing off..then the aircon was too cold..my blanket is really thin man..hahah..eventaully woke up when chelle txted me at 11..after tat i had to clean up the whole house..got back to kb at bout 2...and was.i also dunno wat i did man...had to cool off my ear..then also went to play bal..oh yea..flo and her fam got back from canada..yea..
anyways jes now i went out wif seng,ady,chiam..went over to adys house to watch american pie 3...american wedding.quite a nice movie..hahah...anyways i guess this is it..chelle told someone bout some stuff tat wasnt to be said..btu anyways wat is done is done eii?i guess i have to live and forget.ahaha..anyways i go first la..nyts all..
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